Manual Complex

When people deal with one another, they do not only fear rejection. They fear misreading the situation, saying the wrong thing, hurting someone, and being hurt in return. To protect themselves, they cling to an unwritten manual of “normal” behavior and treat common sense like a set of instructions that can prevent failure.

Human relationships do not work like machines, however, and following the rules cannot guarantee that one person will understand another. Between the desire to connect and the fear of making a mistake lies the real complication: the more someone relies on a manual instead of confronting their feelings, the harder genuine communication becomes.